"drown me out" & "summoning" by cadence b.

 

drown me out

I do not feel alive

until it's already tomorrow

and I haven't slept in days

but even when the near-forgotten spectre

of drowsiness rears its head

still

I keep myself awake

because I don't want to hear myself feel

I drown out the sound of my thoughts

with as many decibels as I can muster

and I drown out the shaking of my hand

with the precision of the pencil and the brush

and I drown out the pound of my heart

with the rhythm of my footsteps

but I can't drown out the flame that's been lit in my core

the way it flickers

when I'm least prepared

I knew from the moment you rose from the steps

and I turned away so that I wouldn't have to face the light

I need you to drown me out

so that I stop trying to drown myself

 

 

summoning

beneath a dark moon

in the shadow of an eclipse

to which I spoke my true name

and heard it echoed back to me

I showed you my demons

and instead of running away

you cast a circle

to summon more

 

 

 

Image: Photo of lunar eclipse by Paul Pastourmatzis on Unsplash.

Note: These poems were originally published in after / the / rift by cadence b. on Brigid’s Forge.